My Adopted Life
My name is Le thi Hong Mai. I was born in the Autumn of 1972. My exact birth date is unknown. When I was brought to the Hoi duc-anh Orphanage, I was nameless. Mdm. Le Thanh Kieu, the orphanage director, named me Le thi Hong Mai. Based on my size, weight, and my physical and mental capabilities, Le Thanh Kieu estimated my date of birth to be November 7, 1972.
Before I could be adopted by anyone, whether Vietnamese or American, I had to have something saying I was born. Mdm. Le Thanh Kieu petitioned the court April 10, 1973 for a Birth Decree. It is similar to a Birth Certificate but in lieu of one. Mdm Le Thanh Kieu testified that she had taken care of me ever since I had arrived at the orphanage. According to her, no one had came to the orphanage to claim. If some one had, it would have been noted and I wouldn't have been adopted. It was also in April 1973, that William and Elaine Kent decided they wanted to adopt me. Taking in consideration the United States had laws regarding home styles of adopting parents, Mdm Le Thanh Kieu agreed to allow me to come to the United States. She argued on my behalf that I would be well off in America. Everyone knew, including the President of the Republic of Vietnam, that many babies were dying and couldn't be cared for by the orphanages. On April 27, a lawyer named Phu fixed papers changing my name to Lee Charlotte Kent.
August 27, 1973 a decree was made waiving the conditions provided in the Civil Code so that from that day on I would be the legal child of William and Elaine Kent. The decree was registered in Saigon on September 20, 1973 and in that November my adoption contract was certified While all the papers were being certified and registered in Vietnam, Andrew Tibus (a chaplain in the United States Air Force) brought me to the United States in October 1973. He carried me and a little boy from Vietnam to his Texas home where he and his wife cared for us while final papers were being finalized.
The Story of My Search
I have always known I was adopted. When I became a teenager, I started the search to find my parents. However, I didn't really know where to begin looking. In 2001, I met a woman on the Internet. She and I became E-mail pals and chat buddies. Her name is Beth. When we first started chatting and exchanging E-mails, I told her how much I wanted to find my birth parents. Do not get me wrong, I loved my adopted parents. I just felt the need to learn more about where I came from. I know I am Vietnamese, but I do not know much about Vietnam and its culture. Plus, I wanted to try and learn why my parents had given me up.
After a years worth of chat, E-mails, and web site postings, I was given some helpful clues from my mother. My mother told me about Rev. Andrew Tibus bringing me from Vietnam and she told me the names of the attorneys involved. I passed this info to Beth. She decided to help me locate Rev. Tibus. In just two or three days, she had his phone number and mailing address! I couldn't believe it. She found him by doing a Google search and searching the Internet White pages.
Rev. Tibus and his wife were very happy to hear from me. By miracle, they were traveling to Orlando, Florida the following week I contacted them. So, my mother drove my family and me to Orlando to meet the man who played a big role in my life!! It was wonderful!! I learned from Rev. Tibus the attorney Mr. Phu lived in the United States. Again, I told Beth. And again, she found the attorney. She contacted the American-Asian Bar Association. One of the attorneys there sent an E-mail to a friend in Washington. This friend knew of Mr. Phu!! Mr. Phu and I exchanged E-mails. He didn't remember my case but he did give me very helpful information about adoption procedure.
Well, Beth wasn't done trying to locate people for me!! She found a web site about the orphanage I had stayed in. This site is maintain by Veterans who served in Vietnam and who adopted the orphanage while they were in Nam. Beth sent an E-mail to the webmaster giving him my E-mail and web site addresses. This really got a ball rolling!! A man by the name Josef W. Rokus contacted me. He told me about a Catholic Nun, Sister Susan McDonald, who had spent time in the orphanage. He had passed my information to her. She too sent me an E-mail!! It was wonderful!! Sister Susan proved to be a huge help. She was able to look over my adoption papers. It was from her I learned about my stay at the orphanage. She also told me the orphanage is now a school for the blind!!
Sadly to say, finding my birth mother is almost impossible. I was one of hundreds of children born in a poor, war torn country. However, I do have hope that maybe there is a woman who is looking for her little, baby girl. Maybe she remembers where she left me and has wondered what became of me. I know I have done all that I can do in my search for her. I do plan to one-day travel to Vietnam. I would love to see the place I was born. I want to learn more about where I came from and pass this knowledge and understanding onto my children. Who knows, maybe Ill be able to take my whole family for a visit.
Growing Up With The Kent Family
Being adopted by the Kent Family meant I was going to have a large family!! Before being married to Elaine, William had been married to another lady. He had a son named Hal. My parents had a son together who they named Billy. Then came me! However, the happy family life didn't last long. William and Elaine divorced in 1974, a little less than a year after my arrival. My mother remarried in 1976. When she did, I gained 3 sisters. Their names are Tina and Gina (who are twins) and April.
I did get to see my father on weekends. He took me places. We would go to the beach and have a wonderful time. He would also take me to the American Legion in Jacksonville, Florida. Matter of fact, it was at the American Legion where I won a trophy in a diving contest. When I was 10 years old, tragedy struck me. My father died. It was awful! Losing him made me feel like I had lost something. I really loved him very much. He was my Daddy in every sense of the word. My world was turned upside down. As if loosing my father wasn't bad enough, we moved to North Carolina. Things were changing. I was changing. My whole world was changing.
Having 3 sisters is a wonderful experience! Even though my parents had divorced, I knew they loved me. Gaining Tina, Gina, and April was a blessing in disguise. We had lots of fun together. We would paint ourselves up like clown, go to the beach, and climb trees. Id like to add we could climb as good, if not better, than any boy. Having them around gave me three wonderful people to help me with all the changes that took place.
Living in North Carolina wasn't bad. I played softball. My team even came close to going to the championship! We lost out by losing one game. However, there is a saying "close only matters in horse shoes". To me that isn't true. I love life and I enjoyed playing softball. At least I was given the chance to play softball!! Don't forget, I'm one of the lucky ones who was given a chance to come to America from Vietnam.
When I was about 13 or 14, my mother and I moved back to Lakeland, Florida. My grandmother had Alzheimer's and needed our help. I went to school until I was 15 1/2 and then we gained a court order for me to quit. My mother needed my help with my grandmother.
Family is very important to me. My mother and I are very close. However, we had our moments and still have our moments. We don't always see eye to eye on things. Id like to ask "What mother and child does?" With 3 children of my own, I now know what headaches I caused my mother. {Smiles}!!
All because I was able to come to American, I have been blessed with 2 brothers, 3 sisters, a mother, a father, a husband, a son, and 2 daughters. Of course there are countless friends! I wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't been adopted? What would it have been like growing up in a Vietnamese orphanage? Thank goodness Ill never have to find out.
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